September always feels like a month of change. The mornings get cooler, the leaves start to turn, and everything seems to shift at once. This year has been no different for me. It’s been full of transitions that have stretched me, scared me, and also opened up new space to grow.
The Biz-Vorce
One of the biggest changes has been what I’ve jokingly (and lovingly) called the “biz-vorce” (business-divorce) with Hannah. We started with such a clear dream: a collective where we could bring together a team, create a culture of safety and collaboration, and run groups, workshops, even retreats. That dream still matters to both of us, but our business partnership has ended, and that’s been hard.
The memory of that first conversation we had about it will stay with me forever. We were on a virtual call while I sat in my car and we both cried, holding the grief of saying goodbye to what we built together while still holding so much love for each other. For me, it stirred up an old fear of rejection. Was she letting go of me, too? As a friend? As a person? No, she wasn’t, but those wounds still got triggered.
At the same time, there’s been relief. Without the pressure of carrying her needs too, I can focus on mine. I’ve been redesigning my website (and realizing just how much work Hannah had poured into it). It’s been overwhelming at times, but also kind of fun, like proving to myself I can figure things out and swim on my own. Even when I was so used to having her as my floatation device. I’ve also stepped back into work as a school counsellor, which feels deeply aligned with my heart. That opportunity didn’t involve Hannah, and now I can lean into it fully, letting it build my confidence again.
My Son’s Transition to Grade One
While all of that has been going on, my son started grade one—and wow, it’s been a bigger transition than I expected. I knew there might be challenges, and I even met with the school ahead of time, but I didn’t realize just how much support he would need. His adjustment has been a big learning curve for me too. As a therapist, I’ve caught myself wondering: how can I support other families when my own child is struggling? The answer, of course, is that I’m human. I can do everything “right” and it can still be hard. It can still take a team. And that’s not failure. It’s life.
One morning really sticks with me. I had to leave for work, and he was up on the playground. Usually, I always stop for a hug and kiss goodbye. It’ s a constant and familiar ritual. But I was late, didn’t want to interrupt him, and thought I was sparing him a hassle. That small miss unraveled his whole day. He melted down, needed extra adults, time in the sensory room, and so much support just to get back on track. I felt terrible. Should I have gone back? Been late? Isn’t he always more important? Of course he is. But forgetting once doesn’t make me a bad mom. It makes me human. Parenting is full of those impossible decision points where there isn’t always a clear “right” choice.
The good news is, things are improving. His school has been amazing. They’ve put together a behaviour support plan (BSP), an individualized program plan (IPP), and we’ve been working with his doctor on medication adjustments. I can’t say enough good things about his teachers and the staff. They care so much about our kids, and they deserve all the support in their fight for more resources (yes, I fully support the strike action they may take!).
Grief and Letting Go
All of this has reminded me that every transition comes with some grief. Whether it’s letting go of a business dream, adjusting expectations for our kids, or even just accepting that seasons change. There’s always something to release. For me, this season has also included saying goodbye to my grandmother (more on that another time). It’s been a lot of loss, but also a lot of learning.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re in a season of transition too, I see you. It’s messy. It’s exhausting. It’s bittersweet. But it’s also human. We were never meant to do any of this alone. Whether that’s parenting, grieving, or starting fresh. If you need support as you navigate your own changes, I’d be honored to walk with you.
And if you’re looking for Hannah -> She’s at https://therightroom.ca/
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